Dear beloved dive bar proprietor,
Once upon a time, bar hopping meant drinking, singing, dancing, laughing, and socializing. Most of us bar hop less and less often as we age. Nowadays it is a production. It takes a ton of energy to get all dolled up, enter a packed room filled with sweaty people, and fight your way to the bar. Once drink is in hand, I’m thinking about the too small bathroom and the possibility of running into puke. Let’s say yell-talking, and the stale beer stench no longer has the allure they once did.
Don’t get me wrong.
Magical feats do happen in drinking establishments. Dive bars, in particular, have special supernatural forces that escape explanation. I’ve seen quiet people transform into lounge singers right before my very eyes. Shy individuals, deliver lines a loquacious warrior wouldn’t utter. We see more proof of sorcery during the last call. People think of the environment, and carpool home, even when they’ve recently met! That would never happen at the library.
I admit that bars aren’t as attractive because I can’t drink like I used to.
I don’t stay up until 2A anymore. I don’t squeeze into too small clothing. I am not single. I am not on the prowl. Alright, I give, I’m getting older, and I say “what?” in bars way too often.
So why do I visit your establishments?
High school reunion, birthdays, girls night out. Plus, doesn’t live music sound better in a neighborhood hole-in-the-wall? While at times I don’t want to be in a dive bar, I must say, the people watching is phenomenal.
What if people want to sit and take in the scene? This is where dive bars and bleachers intersect. People watching is a spectator sport.
Give us a place to group spectate, will you?
You may be thinking; bleachers take up too much room. What would people be watching, exactly? Let me paint a picture.
Sitting in a dive bar is a lot like watching a basketball game. Spectators/Fans watch the players go back and forth during events. You might comment to your neighbor “get a load of that move” once or twice. You witness a steal here, a block there. Whether we are talking basketball players or bar patrons, there is a lot of hustling going on. You might see charging, elbowing, and an airball. No matter what though, there is always one on one play.
In basketball, nothing gets as exciting as the very end of the game. You could say the same about the end of a night sitting in a bar. In both instances, the last minutes are sure to be entertaining.
Who has or hasn’t scored?
Were any fouls committed at the last minute?
Is there time for one last shot?
Bar owners need bleachers so we spectators don’t miss the nail-biting conclusion.
I guarantee an audience would love to spend hours spectating, drinking, and doing the wave. We’ll bond with one another; we’ll cheer people on, and offer opinions. Who knows, we may even buy a fan club t-shirt or hat.
Thanks for your consideration,
Your semi-devoted patron
More in Perspective
