My then fiancé and I were geniuses when we set our wedding date for Father’s Day weekend. We made the expected wedding planning statements. It’s the ideal time of year, weather wise! The church and the country club are available. Yes! Hawaii in June will be phenomenal. What’s that? June 16th falls on Father’s Day weekend? Well, we’re getting married on a Saturday, Father’s Day is on Sunday. All good. Next? Oh, how young and naive we were. Little did I know I was signing my death warrant.
Once a year, I run around with my head cut off. I try to dedicate time to celebrate my dad. My husband and I acknowledge our wedding anniversary, with or without kids present. No matter what, I let my husband know he is the best father our kids have ever had. Wink.
I do believe this to-do list is the reason why I ignore this time of year until right before it is upon us. More smart thinking.
I’ve been pondering Father’s Day in particular and how it seems to pass by with very little fanfare. Again, my fault.
I am not running for cover. Not this year.
A Father’s Day message to my dad, a man of wise words.
Dear Dad,
I regret to inform you that you will not be receiving a homemade coupon book this year. Somehow “Good for one hearing aid” doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Good for one car wash.” Instead, I’d like to tell you how your wise words have stuck with me throughout the years.
As we both know, I take after you in being blind, loving swimming and telling horrible jokes. You and I also share three significant personality traits. We are both stubborn, impatient and passionate. Our similarities mean that we butted heads more often than not when I was in high school.
Of course, you knew I would get my payback when I was an adult with kids of my own.
And so here we are in 2018. I am one half of a parenting pair with teens in the house. As a result, we are having a blast being parents right now. I am confident we will survive this phase, as you and mom did.
When I was growing up, I recall hearing phrases I swore I would never use once I became a parent. Thanks for implanting these words in my psyche, I now use them quite often.
I gave you one-word answers, and acted like your questions were dumb. I was downright rude to you. Thank you for not letting me get away with it. I was trying to step away from being your little girl, and that was one way I could show you I wanted to be independent. I know this because I am on the other end of the argument now. You and I share another talent. I too can elicit a snotty comment from my teens by asking a simple question. I am happy to report the phrase, “It’s not what you say but how you say it,” lives on in our house as well.
When you set rules, and I broke them, you told me to “use my noodle.” I know it wasn’t any fun to ground me and watch me stomp off to my room. The declaration of the punishment was likely effortless. I now know we are all punished when a sour-faced kid is sulking around all weekend. “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill” still comes in handy when imposing “prison” sentences, by the way.
New parenting challenges arise on a daily basis, and we are tackling them, one day at a time. I’ve got a catalog of phrases to choose from should a situation arise where wise words are necessary. My personal favorites used so far:
-Because I said so
-This is not a boarding house
-If all your friends jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, would you?
-Use your table manners; you aren’t in prison.
-Were you born in a barn?
I go back to your words, rules, and views often, and mull them over to see if they fit the purpose of the present day. More often than not, they do.
Dad, sit back and relax on this day. Know that there are millions like me, whipping out inherited parenting phrases. I am sure they are like me and love every minute of it, too.
Love, The Daughter
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