Dear Universe,
I’m writing to you oh vast expanse because I don’t know which direction to aim my request. I have several ideas for products that do not exist that I’d like to share. Throughout the years, some notions have come about from conversations, long runs, and doing the dishes. I’ve kept a running list and feel now is the time to release these brainchildren in hopes that someone will soon bring them to life. I have a firm conviction our society would significantly improve with their existence. I’ve taken the liberty to create advertising for said products, in hopes this will entice manufacturers to take these ideas and run with them.
Karma Pigeon
Has someone parked so close to your car that you can’t climb into it? Leave a Karma Pigeon message on their windshield. What about soccer players who continuously play dirty without a red or yellow card? Send the Karma Pigeon in to drop a bomb on the player.
Autotune Hold
There is nothing worse than sitting on hold. Why not give customers some control over the long wait? “For Gangsta Rap – press 1, for Kpop – press 2, for 24/7 Lady Gaga – press 3, for 80’s mixtape – press 4, for all other genres, please continue to hold.”
Rept-i-Dentify
Hiking in the wilderness comes with some inherent risks. If you don’t know how to identify certain serpents, you might meet your fate a bit early. Snap a pic with the app, and you will have determined what you are looking at before they strike.
Comin’ Quick
There may be some situations where you wish you were better prepared. That’s where we come in. Order online or through our mobile app, and we’ll deliver via our fleet of carts when you are in a pinch.
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