I.HAVE.A.PLAN.
Being the meticulous planner of the family, it shouldn’t be shocking that I am preparing for the approach of the beer truck as we speak. Our calendar on the computer contains multiple colors; one color for each family member including a separate color if it is a family event. Each month, the digital schedule moves to a dry erase, color-coded version hanging on the kitchen wall.
I also have an addiction to list making. I was thrilled to learn that the love of list-making is called glazomania. It’s true, there is a name for my affliction, and I own it. To do’s are my favorite type of list, but must be kept on paper, as it’s more satisfying to cross something off and see progress.
Glazomania gets worse when you start adding in spending.
For several years running, I keep a top-secret, password protected, excel spreadsheet during the holiday season. This gem lists all of the gift purchases for each person. The columns detail budget, link to the store if online, and columns for bought, shipped, and wrapped. This spreadsheet culminates with percent complete for all columns including a bottom-line total. Again, I aim for visual verification of progress by seeing the percentage climb above 50% by the end of November. Lofty goals, I tell you. My former occupation included working with numbers and details ad nauseam. Is it obvious? Yes, excel makes me happy, and I am an organized, list-making freak. Cringeworthy or organized? Both.
My kids, however, did not inherit this planning gene (yet?)
They use all of the regular products a growing pre-teen/teen should be using; toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, etc. For the love of god, my kids still have trouble regulating when they might be running out of an item. I finally figure out the absence of cleaning/grooming products when I either notice it is no longer in the kids’ bathroom or when their hair starts to look strange and by that I mean, filthy. It is then that I run out and replenish needed supplies.
My family will often hear me say “you guys would die if I weren’t here to _______” schedule, buy, clean, plan…fill in the blank. To my husband I am much more direct: “You guys are hosed if I ever get run over by a beer truck” to which he shakes his head.
Full disclosure:
I do not want a beer truck death. However, if my time is up, and this is how I must go, I’d prefer it be a microbrew truck. I think the rig will be smaller (get it, microbrew) and kegs might fall out so at least onlookers can have a drink while they wait for the ambulance. If it ends up being a truck carrying mass produced, American made beer; please play country music at my funeral.
Back to planning for my family’s future. An idea to save the day.
Auto-ship is the solution to my beer-truck-death conundrum!
Need soap? Check the mailbox. Are you looking for q-tips and cotton balls? Look on the front porch. Can’t find the conditioner? Try searching the entry hall. Missing more paper towels? Who knows, they could have delivered to the neighbors when no one was home. In total, auto-ship will eliminate the need for a list, and will, in every sense of the word, PROVIDE for my family! I will schedule an order for their toilet paper, dog food, light bulbs; anything and everything that can be auto-shipped is going in this order, STAT.
Come to think of it; I’ll even auto-ship flowers to my grave site. Check this off the list.
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More in Perspective
